To: Kelvin.Gash@mcdonalds.co.uk
From: Kier@esocialmedia.com
1 attachment: SEX_WORDS_KELVIN.pdf (4.5mb)
Great, Kelv, Hi,
Soooooo, Hi. Been 'checking out' your official twitter feed for 'maccy Ds' and we've basically had a few 'complaints' re:languge on there which, as your official Customer Facing Visibility Associate w/r/t networking of the social kind I thought I better 'address'.
Me and the guys at eSocialmedia are totally 'into' the 'individualism' of twitter personas I know you know that. That's why you chose us right? I mean, it says it right there in our manifesto:
"We are totally 'into' the more individualistic styles of twitter persona"
doesn't it?
Right, so - whilst keeping that fact 'online', we also just need to basically like 'embargo' a few words slash phrases slash topics that possibly - due to blah blah 'legal' issues etc. you might just need to keep a lid on when representing McDonald's in an official capacity.
So, glad we're on the 'same page' (god i hate this business speak? total bloody bullshit right?)
Here is the list of things you might not want to 'mention'.
-Banter Bus/Banter Clause/The Archbishop of Banterbury/ (Could be 'confused' with some sort of promotional material for the kid's meals)
-Football chat (Basically, unless it's David Beckham any actual mention of sport is a big promo-no-no)
-Skanky Mong (Especially whilst 'Mr Skanky Monger' is being trialed as a new character for the Olympic Javelin Burger)
-Any 'Racial' terminology (twitter is defo not the place for this 'stuff' - I thought we'd talked about this after you met Diane Abbott?)
-Smashing/Biffing/Cocking/Dicking/Trapping/Norking/Bashing/Wrangling/
Nobbing/Welding/Gashing/Tubbing(?)/Elfing(?)/Dabbing (Or any other words that might denote penetrative sex. This is just part of a longer list we compiled, I've attached the whole thing as a pdf)
-Legal stuff (Just had to make a few out of court settlements because of your interesting attitude to confidential info. And defo no direct threatening of witnesses in any of your ongoing court cases. Or McDonald's come to think of it.)
A couple of other tips:
-Let's just have ourselves a 2am 'cut off' for twitter. I think we can all agree the quality of your feed experiences a real 'drop off' after that point
-If you are going to use twitter to 'meet people' (Just to clarify, by that we mean acquiring m/f/t prostitutes in the N7 postcode via your official McDonald's twitter feed), then have you seen the direct message function? Get one of the tech lads to run through it with you.
Great! Laters Kelv
Kieran Hannon
Customer Facing Visibility Associate
eSocialMedia.com
craig and david |they work in marketing or something.
